Nothing New

Can't think of a time when I've ever been good enough for anyone. I can't think of a time where someone was willing to fight for me. Not my family, not my friends, just no one. I want someone to make a grand jester to me. Show me, express it, something. I've never had that. No one has ever written anything about me I don't think; No one has ever express their 'love' for me to my parents or probably even their own. I don't ask for much I don't think. I just want a sweet moment that lets people know I'm meant something special to someone.

I don't think he loves me as much as he thinks he does.


It's okay though, I'm use to it.

Warmth

I love having bed sheets that have just come out of the dryer.  It makes me happy.

Something Forgotten

There's this guy.  He comes into Cumberland Farms in the later part of my overnight shift.  He's handsome in his own way, I identify him by his piercings.  He has one on his chin and two on his right eyebrow.  I can't stop myself from trying to look halfway decent before the time he usually comes in.  He seems to have some interest in me too.  His presence makes me happy, if only for a small margin of time.  He doesn't know, he probably will never know.  He probably will never care so it's best that it should be something forgotten.

Sometimes I come home from work at 12 am and see my mom asleep on the couch and I sit by her, looking at her, thinking about her and me, the simularities between us, especially if we have a fight earlier in the day or the night before. 

My mother and I fight, like all mothers and daughters do, about dumb things, about cleaning mostly. 

loves that don't have followers

http://professionalreader11.blogspot.com/2009/02/suffocating-by-terra-barrett.html

I need to tell my mother and father. I need to tell her someday. But when? When I am ready? What if I am never ready?

I am bisexual. I have known this all my life, but I found a name for it 4 years ago. I've had girlfriends and boyfriends. I have hidden all of this from my parents.